Who I Am

I’m Bennett, but my friends call me Ben. I’m a 40-something non-binary trans masc individual living in New England with my two cats and my service dog. Since November 2020, I have been living authentically, probably one of many people who, in the solitude of COVID-19, finally had the time, the space, to accept myself for who I am.

So how can I help? I’m more than just a life coach and offering guidance to the transitioning individuaI. More than just your pocket research assistant, finding answers when you don’t have the time, energy, or spoons to do so yourself. I’m your advocate, your friend, and someone who wants this to be a space for anyone with questions about any aspect of transition, including my trans brothers and sisters. Are you a parent of a trans young person looking for resources to present to their school about how to treat your young person with dignity and respect? I have those resources. Are you the significant other of a trans person trying to figure out what this all means to you? I can help. Are you a friend, an ally, someone who just wants to make sure you support the trans person in your life properly? Here too, I can help.

Looking for more specifics? Check out the menu options, and if you’d like to schedule an Icebreaker, feel free.

Still curious about me? I’m fortunate to not just have a great support system but also to live in an area where being myself isn’t dangerous to my physical or mental wellbeing. In fact, a cousin whom I was worried would break off contact with me on learning my news instead became one of my loudest supporters.

But I know well that not everyone has it this easy (and truthfully, my transition hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows, either). So when I first heard the term gender (or transition) doula online, it gave me pause. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to be a helpful, caring person, but never quite have found something that not only fulfilled me but also made me feel like I was making a real difference. Still, I dismissed the option because what did I have to offer? I’m not a mental health professional (and I never played one on TV), but as the thought tugged at my mind and as I researched more, I discovered that helping people out doesn’t necessarily mean you have certifications after your name. Still, people are going to want, expect “proof” that I’m qualified to do this kind of work, so I’ve gone back to University to get a degree in Human Services. Though I am Trauma Aware, I am not yet Trauma Informed.

But to truly help? You just have to care and you have to want to make a difference, and that’s who I am. Given that this is my community, and I can see and feel all the heartache my brothers and sisters go through, I stopped fighting and started researching in earnest. I came to realize that the term doula was uncomfortable for several people and my original business name wasn’t necessarily appropriate if I wanted to help as many people as possible. Mentor was a better choice, more gender inclusive. And speaking of gender, if you’re wondering why I’m not The Gender Mentor instead of The Transition Mentor, it’s because I recognize that while the transition may be “about us” … it’s not just, really. Living authentically has a ripple effect, touching anything and everything in our lives; from our family (found or blood) to others we may love or who support us.